World Mental Health Day 2014

Mental Illness.
Something that 1 in 4 of us will experience in our lifetimes. Yet something that is still surrounded by prejudice and ignorance and still carries an enormous (and totally wrong!) stigma with it.
Be it depression, OCD, schizophrenia or an eating disorder - it affects us all. Whether it is yourself or someone you care about, almost everyone will live or work with someone living with mental illness.
I'm not afraid to admit that I have first hand experience of living with this. What I am scared of however is the blind ignorance of the many people who tell me to just 'get over it'. It is not a choice. I repeat, this is NOT a choice. Why on earth would anyone choose to feel so awful?! 

So how can you make a difference?

There are many ways that you can help make a change. Firstly, just being accepting and understanding can make an enormous difference. You probably wouldn't think twice about being caring and considerate if someone you knew had a physical illness such as a broken bone, well it's just the same as a mental illness. You may not be able to see the pain but it doesn't mean it isn't there.
You can also make it official and sign the Time To Change Pledge here.
Another way to personally help is simply to talk. The difference a conversation can make is huge. It could be about anything, but just letting someone know you are there for them can make such a big difference. Often people will feel very alone and isolated when they are struggling, so simply reaching a hand out to them could change everything.
And if you want talk to somebody about your own situation, there are some tips here.

#TimeToTalk

What is Time To Change?
They are an anti-stigma campaign run by Mind and Rethink Mental Health working to end the discrimination surrounding mental health.
Please, you can help to make a difference.

Wheat-Free and Dairy-Free?

Before I begin, I'd just like to clarify that I am not actually allergic to those foods. I am however quite ill.

One of the conditions I suffer from is a form of chronic pain that unfortunately has no cure. It means that I am in constant pain pretty much all the time, and although it can be controlled, it may never totally go away. So one of the control measures my doctor advised me to try was cutting wheat and dairy out of my diet completely for three months. If it works, I should carry on after the three months.*Disclaimer: Never cut entire food groups out of your diet without consulting a doctor first* He made no promises but I was at a point where I really was willing to try anything.

So I did.

I had one of two options: Gradually cut foods out of just go cold-turkey. I chose the latter because I know that if I just tried to gradually do it, I would never have been able to give certain things up.

And did it work?

Well so far I'm a month and a half in, and it seems to be working.

Now I'm not going to lie, it was so hard at first. But looking back, it was also definitely worth it. ... It's bitter-sweet. On one hand I'm glad there is less pain but on the other I do miss certain things. That said, there are plenty of alternatives and 'free-from' options so I don't really feel like I'm missing out (they are a bit hit and miss though unfortunately).

I'm not saying the pain has disappeared, but I have noticed that it's taken the edge off of it for sure. And that can only be a good thing right?

And speaking of alternatives, I've been doing a lot of 'free-from' cooking/baking recently since I realised there isn't a huge range of decent or affordable alternatives for certain things in the supermarkets. So hopefully I'll start sharing some of my trials with you all soon!

Time For a Change

So I finally went for it.
I put all my fears aside and just got it done. 
Said goodbye to the old me and embraced the new.
Yes, I only went and got all my hair chopped off!

Surprise!
Everyone that knows me, will know that I hate getting my hair cut. After one hideous experience I vowed to always keep it long.
Until now that is!
So why the sudden change of heart? Well three reasons actually. The first: I was just a little sick of my hair to be honest. It's been a variation of long and layered for so many years that I was just a bit bored of it. The second: I kept getting told off for having blue hair because it was against the dress code and really hated having to put it in a bun to hide it everyday. And the third and final: My hair was in such bad condition. So bad that even my split ends had split ends!
Before:

After:

I think it looks so much better, and healthier too!
It also means it will take so much less time and effort to look after, which I am beyond glad about. 
It's definitely going to take some getting used to, but I really do love it!

I'm Back!

Hello there!
I know, I know. I disappeared again. I didn't mean to, honest! It was all because I had to say bye-bye to my laptop while it go fixed. But, I've just go it back! YAY
It was SO difficult  to function normally without it, I felt like I was missing a leg or something! Haha, I'm totally not addicted or anything ;P
Also, during that time a lot happened in my personal life. Many things changed and I had to make some pretty huge decisions, but I feel they are ultimately for the best. :) They included leaving, moving and re-starting.
During all that, I didn't have much time to do some of the things I loved to do. But things have begun to settle down a little (actually everything's still pretty hectic but definitely more organized at least) and I can finally get back to my passions!
And I can't wait to resume blogging again! I've got so many ideas for posts and stuff. Hopefully I can get myself sorted over the next few days or so and then regular posting can commence.

Round 2

Okay weird title, I know. But basically I was in hospital. Again. Hence 'round 2'. That, and the fact that I have been without my laptop for the last two weeks, is why I haven't posted in ages. So I'm just letting you all know that I am still alive and will return soon...

Off to The V&A...

If you hadn't already guessed from the title, I went to the V&A today.

For those of you that don't live in London or haven't heard of it, it is the Victoria and Albert Museum in London and is an Art and Design museum.

I went with my Textiles class to do some research for our current project. We were focusing on the theme of flowers and basically spent the day sketching and taking pictures.
And here are a few of my sketches:

I don't think they're particularly good but hey ho...

New Year, New Me?

I know it's a little late now, but Happy New Year everyone!
So a whole year is over and a new new one has begun. This is a time to reflect on the year gone by; a time to a time to start afresh and most importantly, a time to move forwards.

Just a word of warning, this is a long post.
A look back at 2013: Undoubtedly 2013 was one hell of a roller-coaster for me. There were some amazing highs and some awful lows. I rose and I fell. I loved and I lost. I battled and I struggled. But overall - I Grew Up.
I was originally going to do a 'Highlights and Lowlights' sort of thing, but then I realised, I don't want to focus on the negatives. Yes there were many many low points but I would rather focus on the few good ones instead.
So here are the 'Highlights':
- GCSE Results: Definitely my biggest achievement of 2013 was getting my GCSE results. I say this because, in the two years of GCSE's, I missed 20% because of my poor health. Twenty percent of my school days. One fifth. That is a lot. And because of that I had little hope. But, I walked away with 2A*'s, 4A's and 5B's! I was so proud of myself with that because exam period also happened to be a time when my health was particularly bad. Results Day also meant officially leaving school and that was emotional because for me, certain members of staff really were so amazingly supportive and I will forever be grateful for that.
- The Challenge: Summer of 2013=The Challenge for me. I say this because although there were other a couple of things happening that summer for me too, The Challenge was definitely the most time consuming and by far the best! Seriously, I think taking part was one of the best decisions I made all year! I made so many friends, did so many amazing things, learnt so so much and just had the best time ever. Looking back, all I remember are good memories and part of me even wishes I could do it all over again.
- Starting at The BRIT School: A major achievement for me last year was getting into The BRIT School. I'd said I wanted to go to my friends and family, but never really believed I would, so getting in was a huge surprise.
- Getting a Job: This was a bit of an unexpected one because I wasn't properly job hunting or anything, I just sort of got lucky I suppose haha :) But, I really do love my job now! I've made so many friends and it gives me a reason to get away from home too. Plus getting paid is great too!
- Leaving Hospital: This may seem like a strange Highlight, and could very easily be a Lowlight, but I mean this in a positive way. A few months ago I was admitted to hospital and also had surgery, but 7 weeks ago I was finally able to go home recover there. I think it's fair to say I was glad to leave, and although I may not have fully 'recovered' yet, I'm getting there. While in hospital I also met a variety of people and two of them really touched my heart, so wherever they are today - I wish each of you the very best <3 
- Turning 17: Now I don't actually mean that my 17th birthday was a highlight, because I don't really think it was (I spent my day at the hospital and at work...). What I actually mean is saying goodbye to being 16. They say that the teenage years are supposed to be the best days of your life, but age 16 was one bitch of year at the best of times. So I think it's safe to say I was glad to say goodbye to it.
There were some other great moments too but these were definitely the stand-out ones.
Writing and thinking about that actually brought back so many memories. Some painful and some delightful. There are things I wish I could forget but also things I never want to forget. I've lost count of the amount of times I've said "why me?" last year, and I don't even want to think of the reasons behind each one. 2013 was tough. It was definitely not smooth sailing but somehow I pulled through and managed to create some amazing memories along the way. So much happened last year for me, and as difficult as it has been, it really has made me who I am today.
Someone once very close to me said last year - 'You might be smiling to the world, but I can see right through you. There's a sadness in your eyes, you're hurting inside'. That same person spoke to me on new years day and their honesty and strength has inspired me. They kept their promise even though they had every reason not to and so I really am going to try and make things a little better, for them as much as for myself, and for everyone around me.

Ready for 2014...
A new year does mean a chance for a fresh start. There are many things I want to do this year, and I am determined to make them happen.
New Years Resolutions:
- Spend Less Money: This is a resolution I make every year, and every year I break it. But this year I really do want to try and have a bit of control, especially since I am earning now. That doesn't mean I won't go shopping or that I'm suddenly going to be putting spending bans on myself, instead I just want to save more than I spend.
- Try To Be Healthier: I mean this in a few ways. First and foremost, I want to to change my eating habits. Since I've been allowed home from hospital they have become pretty awful and I can see the effect it is having, so they need to change. I also want to get back into swimming as soon as my doctor lets me because besides really missing it, it was/is pretty much the only form of exercise I can do frequently. Also, I mean this resolution in a different sense too. I mean that I want to try and make my health improve because it really if affecting my life a lot. And not only my life, my parents lives too, and I feel like it's not fair on them.
- Care For The People Around Me: I hate losing people, and in 2013 I lost a lot of people. Some were taken from me and some chose to leave. But either way, every time someone I care about is removed from my life, a little piece of me goes with them. Sooner or later im just going to be left as an empty frame, so I'm determined to make the moments I do have with my loved ones special. Just little acts of kindness can make someone's day.
- Keep a Diary ALL Year: Every year I start a diary but usually a few months in I begin to get lazy and so I think in the last 7 years I've only managed to complete it 3 or 4 times. So this year I'm trying again and hopefully succeeding.
- Be More Organized: This is fairly generally, but as life gets more hectic, I'm finding myself needing to be more prepared and organized for things so I want to try and make it a habit.
- Be a Better Blogger: I feel like I keep saying I will be a better blogger and I really try and then something goes wrong, so this year I am determined to make it work. This also ties in with the being organized one, because once I become a bit more organized blog wise, hopefully the little disasters that keep cropping up won't have so much of an effect on the blog.
- Read More: As the years have gone by I've noticed that I don't read anywhere near as much as I used to. I used to be a proper bookworm and could get through a book a day but nowadays it would take weeks so I just want to get back into it.
So I've made these resolutions and I am going to try hard to stick to them but I also won't beat myself up if I break them because sometimes (or a lot of times in my case) life does just get in the way.

So, New Year = New Me? Perhaps not completely
~You can't change the past but you can shape the future~

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you have all had a great day!

I spent my day with my family and younger cousins. Even though I don't celebrate Christmas, they are still young so it's a nice thing for them.

To be completely honest, until I arrived at my cousins house, today just felt like any other day. We had to drive from one end of London to the other but it was raining, grey and just generally miserable. Apart from numerous police cars and ambulances, there were no lights, no music and no festiveness. I think it's because I'm getting older too, and being ill has just taken its toll a little :(

I suppose since I was working yesterday as well, I didn't have time to get all that festive. I did try though! I tied a piece of Christmas tree decoration into my hair and some of the customers started calling me Angel haha.

In other news, I made some cupcakes to take with me today:

They were quickly devoured which I'm happy about!

Tomorrow I'm attempting to go to the boxing day sales, wish me luck!

Whatever you did today, I hope you had a lovely day :)

17 Today!

Guess what? It's my birthday!! (I'm kind of hoping you figured that out already for the title haha)
I am officially 17! 
Wow, it feels so weird to say that.. I feel like I should suddenly be more "grown-up" and mature because i'm not a child anymore yet I feel no different.

I made Funfetti Cupcakes for everyone :)

So what did I do for my birthday? Go out with my friends? Have a party? Go out for a meal?
Nope. I spent my birthday alone and at the hospital. Fun times, right?! My doctor was even kind enough to gave me a "present"!

Oh well... I suppose I should be used to this by now.
One really nice thing about today though was visiting my old school. I had to go there to collect my exam certificates but I also went to say hello to some of my old teachers and it only really just hit me today how much I miss them. Despite everything, I did actually like it there but I suppose you only realise things like that once they are over.
Anyway, I'm off to work now. At least I'm not stuck at home by myself eh?

But seriously though, thank you SO much to everyone who has wished me a happy birthday - I really do appreciate all your kind words!

I'm Back!

Ah yes you read correctly, I really am back! And for good this time too! I've been away from properly blogging for more than two months now and as much as I really needed the break and although it was slightly forced upon me too (see my last post), I was beginning to miss it a lot. So, as a fresh start I've completely re-designed my blog all by myself! Haha sorry I'm just super proud of myself for doing it all with no help!
Here's a before and after shot:

You may have noticed the tabs under the heading (and yes, you can click on them!) are of six different categories, some of which you haven't seen on the blog before. So why are they there? Well I've mentioned it before, but basically I want this blog to be more of a Lifestyle Blog rather than just a nails one.

Those who know me in real life will know that l LOVE all things creative, including baking, crafting and playing around with clothes and make up. So l thought, why not put that too the blog too! As well as that, I just want to bring a bit more of myself to the blog. More posts about general everyday things (not in a boring diary style, don't worry!) and things that are happening in my life. Most of all though, I just want it to be something I would actually want to read. 
Well one things for sure, I'm definitely looking forward to getting back to blogging!